12.31.07 My Season

2007 began my season of Preparation. It was prophesied that I would make a return to school. Thinking in the flesh I assumed it was to complete my fashion degree and continued in my preparation to do so. Who would have thought the knowledge I was seeking would lead me to religious studies? You can always sit back and see how God uses his people and situations to reveal your own destiny. Like when I started my T-shirt venture, a friend of mine that I was consulting with kept pushing Wisdom. He was like "You've got to work it in there somewhere". I can now see it was Gods way of introducing his next step for me...

This is my Declaration: 2008 serves as a year of Wisdom seeking. Expanding my Knowledge adds a greater level of Discernment to my walk. And in all glorifying the Lord!

12.26.07 Not Yet

Even though I'm going through, there is more for me! I been there I know! Ive had the finances, the job, and a nice place to lay my head. But God wasn't getting the glory in it. Through correction he began taking it one by one..."I see you Lord, but not yet". Even when its all gone still I said..."I hear you Lord, but not yet". "Now my child, the time is now"...."I'm listening..."

-Me
12.26.07

12.03.07 Miracles

I recently had a friend of mines situation on my mind. I wanted to encourage her by letting her know that God is still a miracle worker but I paused in mid thought. Yes, He is still working miracles everyday but does she deserve a miracle? Think about who He's handing them out to, example Dewayne Woods. Dewayne was working with his ministry when he was diagnosed with AIDS but yet he contracted this deadly disease. Now he, much like Job kept on if not increased his praise. He didn't lay down and die he kept holding on and walking by faith. Now at some point when he was his most ill he realized why during his test his health was worsening. He had to know when to, as the song says, let go and let God. God not only calls for faithfulness but also obedience and consistency. Once and only when he is sure you are ready will perform His work (at least at that magnitude). Don't get me wrong he does perform smaller miracles everyday but something so infectious that doctors write you off??? He can't do that for everyone, that would take away from the significance of the act. He needs your level of praise to be so great that He's assured you'll share with all about his goodness.
Now going back to my friend, her praise is it there yet? Hmmm....

-Me 12.03

11.22.07 Integrity

Do I have Integrity? Sure I do, we all do. If your Honest, Saved, and Sinless then of course you do... right? Now first of all if anyone answered yes we're gonna need to hit the remedial class! Honestly, no one posses all three things, God knows that many will fall short of his glory. Now I recently heard a word on Integrity. It made me think about my current circle and past acquaintances. Examining the course of those relationships and whether we demonstrated integrity. Now right off the bat I could just say that all of my failed friendships and relationship lacked integrity on the other end. But maybe, just maybe that person had an abundance of Integrity and I was afraid to be held to their standards? Yeah never considered myself lacking Integrity. I hold everyone to a higher standard, but I guess I came with more of a take me as I am attitude. Now how fair is that? Its not and I can see that now.


-Me 11.22

11.19.07 The Devil Made Me Do It, or Did He?

How many times have we heard "But the Devil made me do it?". One time too many? I can see the Enemy now head blown up so big because the world has given him so much power over us. Lets set a few things straight here today.Yes the Devil is powerful, I won't deny that but he never has total control over you. God is a fair God, right? Now even though he is far more powerful than Satan he still insists on a level playing field when it comes to the battle against his children. Just like with God we have to be given the right to decide to act. Thats one of the few rules of engagement.

The Devil knows that God truly has the upper-hand. Think about it: eternal peace, streets of gold, and a mansion with my name on it versus the fiery pits of hell. and you do know hell is hot? Which brochure would you pick if planning a family vacation. So being the crafty creature that he first tries to lessen the power of the scripture. How? We as human beings sometimes cant visualize past the present. He'll not only show you how there isn't an immediate repercussion to your sin but also show you possible rewards. Now let me tell you the He ain't scared to step to anyone cause he even tried to take on J.C. in the New Testament. That being said he has not shame either. He'll approach the youngest soul that will listen, so no your children aren't safe! Prime example, Mommy leaves her four year old at the dinner table and tells him that he won't get any dessert until he finishes his meal. Junior really wants that ice cream so fifteen minutes past and he runs from the table with a clean plate. What mommy doesn't know is Junior may have had a little canine help from his buddy, Fido. Now don't you think that maybe a seed was planted in that young child's mind to do something like that? Where do you think these eight and ten year old murderers are created? All the devil needs is for you to open that door once and he's in.

Now his next approach is a little more cunning. This is when he really gets in your mind. He reserves this approach for the broken, sick, and sometimes believers that have lost their way. This is where he uses a lil muscle. He creeps in often at night and takes hold of your emotions. Your emotions have a tremendous affect over your body and mind. See the devil doesn't need your hands or mouth directly. He uses your heart and mind to engage your body into his acts. One we expose ourselves so openly to the enemy we have given him the key to our hearts. You do begin living and breathing for him.

But in all of this you still have a choice. God never moves away when you get a new tenant. He's still there to comfort you when the enemy lets you down. He is there to guide you if you only follow the path. All you have to do is choose him. Neither the Lord or the Devil can make you do anything but they can hold out their hands its up to you who you follow....
11.19.07

11.08.07 The Devil is a Liar

The closer I get to God the harder and more frequent are the attacks of the enemy. But all the enemy is doing is further solidifying the calling that's on my life. He is helping me to see that I must be destined for greatness by the way that he is engaging his war upon me. I recognize his tactics. He knows that I'm on guard more now than ever. But also he knows my weakness: its not lust, ego, the opposite sex, loneliness, power, drive to succeed, etc...alone. He knows if he can just work his presence into any of these areas that he can send out attacks on the rest. He tries to knock me down with everything his got and yes he has been successful in few battles but the war is not over! Satan has no place here & in the past I may have allowed him rest but as long as I'm still breathing I wont let him settle here.

I

t just disgusts me how much power He can have over someone. My mind, body, mouth is all out of my control. Its like my living and breathing is for Him. I know what I want, what I can do but here is his voice telling me "You Cant!". The more I fight back the more he wrecks havoc on my physical. I had left the door unlocked and the Enemy came right in setting up camp. Before I knew it he had taken me hostage, smothering my soul. But I've been here before and know that there is a way out! I've been out of it before and come out of it again. But today I'm denouncing Satan and all of his assailants. Victory is mine sayeth the Lord !

ME

10.05.07 Callings

How am i supposed to know if i have a true calling from the Lord? I mean okay you would say "If you prayed to be perfected and guided to his perfect will for you and he answers then there you go. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out". Well call it fear to jump the gun or whatever but I feel that there really is a calling on my heart.

Now next question what do i do? Who do I tell? I don't really have counsel that knows me as a person (at least adult me) so I do what? Well that's not all true. I have my Aunt & Uncle but i really don't want to make a big deal of it. Okay so why do I think I have something special for me that was revealed?
- Well I had a "Vision?" of a ministry, a few facts about it were given and I recorded them for later.
- In quiet moments "with this so called 'ADD' mind of mine there rarely is one of those" at work, driving, or even in the shower I get a word. Sometimes there words or phrases. Others its full blown sermons with "fire & brimstone" delivery and everything. Now I know that its not of me because words and phrases id thought would never come out of my mouth in that context are there.
-"D-I-S-C-E-R-N-M-E-N-T" the word, has been on me for weeks, months. The more I study it (which i figured out was what i was supposed to do) the larger and louder it seems to be.
I don't know....Just some thoughts

Peace & Blessings

10.04.07 Preordained

Wow, Its not coming to pass now is it? Nah, not this soon. I asked God to lead me to his perfect will for me. To guide me to the path of his vision for me and my life. To guide me to the man pre-ordainded for me.

Now I thought I had found that one special person. I had felt for a while that I would be yoked with a true man of God. Fearing it, I allowed the devil free reign into my life and relationship. Ruining our relationship and friendship but, God willing it will mend.

Now Lord knows I'm not one to jump into, around, out of or even look for relationships. Even with the wisdom I was granted at an early age in these matters I choose to let my fears rule over me. I could see that now. Well, I ran into a guy that use to crush on me in high school. I didn't pay him much attention (well anymore than the next guy) then. But he is determined (then & now) that I'm the one for him blah blah blah... I say that because I've heard it before, but see there i am letting the devil infect me with doubt. I prayed over it, and while trying to let it be, doubt comes knocking at my door. I don't really know what to think of this because after praying over it today he has been in the forefront of my mind. The problem that Ive come to realize that I have is I have such a great wall around me emotional that the devil knows he cant hit me there, that is until i let it down (which was ONLY for a man). I knew that vulnerability would leave me open to attack so I avoided it. Even in the new me, while discovering the true rewards in the kingdom for me I'm hesitant to let that guard down.

While at work today I had some time to think. A message came to me during my time of reflection. It was that all of my trouble and mess isn't just for me. Its preparing me for my new self as well as the man that I will be walking with. I also realized another thing, I don't believe in divorce. Even though at one point bragging on the goal of 6 marriages like my then idol the fictional Erica Kane. I can understand why my grandmother was so upset with me when I proclaimed it in high school. God has someone, did we get it "One"... that one person preordained for us. That one person is meant to complete us, like that yin-yang theory. The reason people are divorcing, unhappy and fed up with each other is because they're not with their destined match. I don't care how much you try you are not getting a square peg in a round hole. It just wont work. Husbands & wives; Preachers & First Lady's; boyfriends & girlfriends; political couples, are all out here laying hands on one another, seeking council, and divorcing because they are just realizing what God already knew hmmm, that wasn't for you. You cant decide who you are going to spend the rest of you life with. Who gave you authority to make that decision. You may see someone, take it to God but if he ain't answering or still yet he answered but it wasn't what YOU wanted to hear you need to RUN in the other direction! That ain't him. See the devil is so tricky with his that he makes you believe that you don't NEED God to decide for you whom you'll spend the rest of your life with.

You know what? He's so good at being bad that he'll prove to you that you don't need to confer with god for anything. The devil is so bad he'll show you the family with the new 7-series in the driveway, nice $200,000 house, and fine wife/husband, two kids and a dog...You can have all this while selling crack in your old neighborhood. God is so good, right?... Now this is the part that almost made me laugh out loud, the devil will lead you to believe that all of that is Gods blessing of abundance for you just so you can continue on with his own will and agenda for your life.

Relationships and marriage aren't easy, especially as a christian. That makes it 10X's as hard in the world that we're living in. Now with those odds would you rather pick a partner with the 1000000:1 odds or a guaranteed winner hand picked for you? I don't know about you but I'm not a gambling woman so I'm going with the WINNER!

Peace & Blessings

10.04.07 Discernment

There's a word stirring up in me, so i ask that you please be patient with me while I try to get it out. Its strong, powerful, and by no means the me that I am now. Gods been revealing my purpose slowing to me and in it he lets me know that I'll be a part of a powerful new ministry. That I'll be a leader of sorts and that what he has planned is too great for me to try to appreciate in my present self. He's been leading me with thoughts, phrases, and words. I've been trying to record them because some of them are shocking to me to imagine such a revelation coming from myself. I spoke with a friend the other day about my thoughts a my journal entries and he suggested that maybe God is giving me confirmation for closed chapters in my life. It made sense that day so I took it and moved on. I also told him about the oh so present word that's been almost harassing me for weeks going on months. Its "....wow the devil is ever present, the word that has been on the tip of my tongue for months has now slipped my mind. "Discernment", thank you lord! Discernment. Now he's not the only one I've asked about discernment. I've received definitions of the term and was assured that well everyone has the gift of discernment on some level. Ive always felt discernment in life.. well until I decided to try me. By that I mean doing what I want to do not what others or even what "that lil voice" was telling me to do. Others said go left and I went right. Now we know I'm nu-new now so I know better! Its like when the saying you never miss a good thing till its gone, well I didn't think much about that annoying lil voice until i couldn't hear it anymore. I rejected it so that when I called I couldn't hear it. Without thought my discernment helped me determine quality characters in my friends lives and whether or not they like it their wrong decisions proved me right ever time. Now the trouble is I'm just mastering the use in my personal life. Within my life i get deja-vu feelings. Its like in a blink of an eye, and incorrect decisions consequence flashes before me right before it comes to pass. I am just now taking my time and listening before speaking and acting seeking guidance for choices made.

Well this wasn't the direction I thought this was going to go when I sat down to write, but i guess it needed to be said.

Peace & Blessings

9.29.07 GTM & I

I feel that God did bring us together. I feel that at some point in our lives we both will be able to understand why. God had big plans for our lives. So big in fact that the two of us together would be a powerful force to be reckoned with. Now the enemy has been hitting us individually for a while in hopes to divert Gods will. Their efforts sought an increase when we stumbled upon each other. They knew what God had for us together and couldn't stand to see it come to pass.

Before I got together with you, I was back toward the path that God was leading me on. But I wasn't quite there, I know now just looking back at how easily I was swayed to do things, feel ways, and be a way that I am not (not on my worse day) in our relationship. I'm sure that the same can be said about you. I had so many weakness' i was carrying around that the enemy had a field day with me.

I hope God has been able to make the correction in your life that was needed to get back on path as he has mine. Its funny how now I can truly just let things go and feel so good about it. How i could be so low in everyone elses eyes and yet I'm cheerfully looking towards tomorrow. I'm still careless but in a different since. Ive place all my cares and worries to the Lord leaving me Care-Less!

Peace & Blessings