11.10.11 You Really Ain't All That

I'm really troubled by people in the church, especially black churches, building themselves up with trumphed up titles, positions, awards, recognition, etc... The world looks at this and thinks that its what church and God is all about. This, all done in the over and often misused name of excellence, causing a level of exclusivity to develop in ministries that make people feel that they're not "good enough for God" or to worship with his people and can you blame them?

Even worse some leaders lose or maybe never practiced the true meaning of ministry. It's not a battle of showmanship nor is it a weekly fashion show. Your worth can not and should not be evaluated by the money raised in the collection plate, number of souls saved or church membership. Saints we have got to stop building walls to keep His children "out" and start putting up doors to let them in.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

7.14.11 Dream

"-- Whatever you do, don't give up on your dream.-Jewells"

But what if you don't remember what that dream is? What if you come to realize that you never truly had a dream? That your daydreams, fantasies, and even nightmares were mere escapes from your reality that you have really never dreamed.

6.27.11 Won't Go Away

PRIDE, HURT, PAIN, FEAR...usually such small words, now given a thunderous voice. Trapped in a closed, dark, box not knowing which way is up from down. You hear the sounds of life by passers by outside but no one notices you from the crowd. A small voice yelling, screaming, pleading for help from inside--to small to be heard muffled by your own fear and pride. The same fear and pride that causes you to hide when a curious by-stander stoops down and notices your muffled cries. PRIDE smothers the words that you've been "living" to say, FEAR gently rocks you while PAIN consoles the tears away, and HURT reminds you that they'll never really understand anyway. A simple, "I'm O.K." is all you are ever persuaded to say... 

6.12.11 Near Empty

If only she could find someone to pour into her the same way she pour into others. Many times being left operating "five miles till empty" and not sure of what lies ahead. Where is her constant? It could be a man, close friend, relative, or mentor--doesn't matter who the real question still is where?


Burned out, stress out, d@mn near bout to flip out--but I digress to limit the stress. So much talent, so little will left to carry out her assignment. The daily grind has become  mundane, world continuing on without her say. Desperately needing a break, a reprieve, just a chance to breathe--to clear her mind from the others in need.

To live a day for "Me" she says, seems to only be a dream...

4.27.11 BE gifted...

Don't let a need to please others or need to be recognized allow you to operate outside of your gifting. Know who you are, where your talents lie and use them. If you don't know who you are and what makes you unique and wonderfully made, make a point to find out!

We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us--Use them... (Romans 12:6-8)

So today, what will you be??? I chose to "BE gifted" ....

2.6.11 Just One of Those Days

Have you had a day when you just don't want to get out of bed? Even after this past week of gloomy days, the rays of sunlight couldn't shake this feeling...Thank you Father for blessing me to see another day and for pushing me to service this morning. The enemy has peeked into my future and is determined to deter me from greatness...But God--

~Me

2.2.11 Hope Says"Try"

When the world says "Give up," Hope whispers, "try it one more time."

 I can came across this saying this morning from an "unknown author". It made me think about Hebrews 11:1 and wonder really how deep is my faith. Faith is based on the ability to Hope for something you haven't yet seen. 2Corinthians 4:16-18 teaches that even though you look around and things don't seem as they should, don't lose heart. Get out of the natural and get into the supernatural realm of sight. Keep your Hope alive for those things unseen, increase your faith in the Lord in that no matter what He said about you, have confidence to know it will come to pass!


Just last night in the TBN studios Judge Penny Brown Reynolds spoke on this very same thing so I know the Lord is only confirming some things in my life! I love how if you are listening the Lord will find a way to speak to you. See the author may be "unknown" to some but I know him very well. Thank you Lord for re-affirming daily what you see for me!


~Me

1.25.11 Be...

Romans 12:2 prompts us to "Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds...". Conforming is to correspond in character or be similar. Meaning as Christians we should not look to our neighbors or classmates or even a personality on television as strive to be like them or have what they have.
Sure it seems that these people have a worry less lifestyle, money, cars, trips around the world and here you are trying to figure out how to pay your light bill. Be assured that many of these people don't have God in their lives and all of these things are paid with a hefty price--their souls.

See Jesus paid the price for us at calvary. We could have many of those same desires of our hearts thru him if we allow him to transform our thinking. Quit chasing your desires of worldly things and chase after your Father. Let him make you new again. Let him re-establish you with in his kingdom, then watch those things you once sought after will begin chasing after you!

10.23.09 Trials of Anxiety

Why doesn't anyone else understand? This is the closest to death I’ve ever felt while living. With all of my knowledge and faith and wisdom I’m hopeless and helpless and wish death to make it stop. But of course I can’t die. I can just sit here and feel all of these overwhelming feelings and thoughts all at once that seem to come out of nowhere. I eventually make the thoughts, fears, and feelings go away but obviously they aren't dealt with because it keeps happening over and over again. What 4 or 5 year old thinks it would be better if they weren't here? Well I was one of them. So there…this is loneliness. 30 years of lonely. Lonely in the company of few or many, I've had both. I don’t want a pat on the back. I want to stop it for good! But reaching out just makes me feel like “shame on me for seeking comfort” because my everyday personality does not vibe with this broken girl with tears on her cheeks.

So I write. I put back on my “Big Girl” pants and fake it till I make it. I haven’t taken the time to write in a while. Maybe that’s why I’m in the place that I’m in now.

“Get up! Get Out!” Yelling those things to me in this state is like yelling to a person in a flood drowning “Just get out the water!”. You may be making all the sense in the world but the situation doesn’t allow it. My mind holds me to where I am just as the water holds one under. I feel just as suffocated but just as quickly as the feelings rush in they are gone. The tens of issues that I’m bearing that insist on my immediate attention don’t weight as much. What once felt like a mountain is back in perspective.

But wait enters Fear. Again. This time it’s not the fear of my problems with no immediate solution. Not the fear of my situation in the mist. It’s the fear it’s going to come back. The fear that it’s really not over. The fear I’ll be driving, in the store, at school and out of nowhere I'm in tears. It’s happened before. My most embarrassing moment was in a team huddle, minutes after the store opens I’m fleeing from the huddle locked in an office refusing to open the door. I had to call my mother and insist she come get me, but of course by the time she arrives I’m fine.

They are a lot of things in life we can’t control. The one thing I most want to control is my body. I’ve never fully been able to make my body do what my mind or will wants it to. I’ve never been able to live up, frankly near my potential. I don’t need an instructor to tell me that! I beat myself up enough; I don’t need the obvious shown to me. I try! I try really hard but there is only so much you can do when you don’t know how. Believe me if I could I would.

My intelligence has always been my hindrance. If I’m so smart then I should know how to do it. You hear it so much you believe it. What is the most used word in my vocabulary? Anyone’s guess… Can’t. I’ve been using it since I could speak. You get to a point that you say you can’t because you have felt embarrassed or let down so much you don’t want to try it.

I don’t know how I’m gonna make it through tomorrow, I barely made it through today. I just hope one day I can share myself with someone who not only understands but can help make it stop.

-Me

8.14.09 Life or Death...You Choose

Proverbs 18:21 (The Message) 21 "Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit—you choose."

Our tongues are one of the most powerful weapons we have. We not only have the ability to speak life & hope into a person but we also can speak death & destruction into someone's life, hopes, and dreams. Words are a gift that can be given but never truly taken back. You can be remorseful for what you've said but the damage is already done. If I myself have spoken destruction, death, or attempted to smother your dreams I'd like to apologize. The most holy Saint falters so, I am not exempt.

I challenge everyone to take an extra second today to consider the words YOU choose REGARDLESS of what they choose to use on you. Really try this with EVERYONE you encounter today whether its at home, work, school, OR even a stranger on the bus. You never know...you could be the differene between life & death in someones life.


Luv ya'll...
~Me
8.14.09