Wow, Its not coming to pass now is it? Nah, not this soon. I asked God to lead me to his perfect will for me. To guide me to the path of his vision for me and my life. To guide me to the man pre-ordainded for me.
Now I thought I had found that one special person. I had felt for a while that I would be yoked with a true man of God. Fearing it, I allowed the devil free reign into my life and relationship. Ruining our relationship and friendship but, God willing it will mend.
Now Lord knows I'm not one to jump into, around, out of or even look for relationships. Even with the wisdom I was granted at an early age in these matters I choose to let my fears rule over me. I could see that now. Well, I ran into a guy that use to crush on me in high school. I didn't pay him much attention (well anymore than the next guy) then. But he is determined (then & now) that I'm the one for him blah blah blah... I say that because I've heard it before, but see there i am letting the devil infect me with doubt. I prayed over it, and while trying to let it be, doubt comes knocking at my door. I don't really know what to think of this because after praying over it today he has been in the forefront of my mind. The problem that Ive come to realize that I have is I have such a great wall around me emotional that the devil knows he cant hit me there, that is until i let it down (which was ONLY for a man). I knew that vulnerability would leave me open to attack so I avoided it. Even in the new me, while discovering the true rewards in the kingdom for me I'm hesitant to let that guard down.
While at work today I had some time to think. A message came to me during my time of reflection. It was that all of my trouble and mess isn't just for me. Its preparing me for my new self as well as the man that I will be walking with. I also realized another thing, I don't believe in divorce. Even though at one point bragging on the goal of 6 marriages like my then idol the fictional Erica Kane. I can understand why my grandmother was so upset with me when I proclaimed it in high school. God has someone, did we get it "One"... that one person preordained for us. That one person is meant to complete us, like that yin-yang theory. The reason people are divorcing, unhappy and fed up with each other is because they're not with their destined match. I don't care how much you try you are not getting a square peg in a round hole. It just wont work. Husbands & wives; Preachers & First Lady's; boyfriends & girlfriends; political couples, are all out here laying hands on one another, seeking council, and divorcing because they are just realizing what God already knew hmmm, that wasn't for you. You cant decide who you are going to spend the rest of you life with. Who gave you authority to make that decision. You may see someone, take it to God but if he ain't answering or still yet he answered but it wasn't what YOU wanted to hear you need to RUN in the other direction! That ain't him. See the devil is so tricky with his that he makes you believe that you don't NEED God to decide for you whom you'll spend the rest of your life with.
You know what? He's so good at being bad that he'll prove to you that you don't need to confer with god for anything. The devil is so bad he'll show you the family with the new 7-series in the driveway, nice $200,000 house, and fine wife/husband, two kids and a dog...You can have all this while selling crack in your old neighborhood. God is so good, right?... Now this is the part that almost made me laugh out loud, the devil will lead you to believe that all of that is Gods blessing of abundance for you just so you can continue on with his own will and agenda for your life.
You know what? He's so good at being bad that he'll prove to you that you don't need to confer with god for anything. The devil is so bad he'll show you the family with the new 7-series in the driveway, nice $200,000 house, and fine wife/husband, two kids and a dog...You can have all this while selling crack in your old neighborhood. God is so good, right?... Now this is the part that almost made me laugh out loud, the devil will lead you to believe that all of that is Gods blessing of abundance for you just so you can continue on with his own will and agenda for your life.
Relationships and marriage aren't easy, especially as a christian. That makes it 10X's as hard in the world that we're living in. Now with those odds would you rather pick a partner with the 1000000:1 odds or a guaranteed winner hand picked for you? I don't know about you but I'm not a gambling woman so I'm going with the WINNER!
Peace & Blessings
