Why does she need my key!!! Yeah i was probably wrong for engaging with her but, ugh! why do u need it? I have no license, no plates, and no gas. All of MY stuff is in it not yours so again...y? OK i can understand the thing about the weather and me being out of town last weekend. So the car was parked under the tree blah blah blah...
Well last she has paid my last few car payments and I'm grateful but I vested more money into the car than she has and ever will. She doesn't have to ability to see past today in that aspect. i know what it is, its a control thing. She wants a piece of everything. Bet she doesn't have a key to my brothers car but she's gonna DEMAND a key to mine!
That's another thing, all this demanding stuff. I need her to realize that I'm her child not A child. She doesn't know how to dialog with anyone. yelling and fussing is all she has grown to know. My step-dad, brother, the dogs...she uses the same tone with all of them alike. What infuriates her now is that i don't react to her in fear when she tries it with me. I tried to talk to her and explain that i cant and wont battle with her. Its wrong and unhealthy. Whats funny is i was considering just giving her the key till she placed that threat upon me. I don't do threats ever! so i hated to challenge her but if that's whats on her heart then i let her know she can do it, but i wasn't gonna break over a threat.
Then I question her motives, you cant keep up with ANYTHING (lose your head if it wasn't attached kind of thing) why? cause i want it, not good enough why? cause i want to move it, its already done why? cause your dad asked for it(which he had given me the weather excuse earlier), now you gonna blame my stepdad???
But you know that was her parenting style...If you don't wash the dishes I'm gonna, if you don't pass the class I'm gonna, you don't want me to. Now that we're older beating us doesn't work (though we get the occasional slap) so now she's moved on to the big leagues. wheres my car, ill tell them to repo it, ill remember that next time you, etc...
Its all a control thing. she feels that she lost control of her life (job,health,home) so she needs something that she can say is "MINE" and i do what i want with it! What she cant figure out is that we're not things and that this is not the way to regain control. I mean look at my world right not, it seems like its spinning out of control but its not. because i learned the hard way i might add that i don't have control over me, God does. Yes i can do whatever i feel within reason but to have favor, i had to relinquish the reigns and let him guide me. Wow look at me (Satan's lil helper, miss my daddy's name is Lucifer) sound like I'm preaching now...LOL! I guess this is what happens when god give you a test...you turn it into a testimony. Oh that was good i gotta get that on a shirt! HI-FIVE!
I'm now seeing a relationship between our interactions with each other and hers with grandma. with her illness as a crutch she is turning into her mother. Caring for grandma made her miserable and I've told her I'm not going that route with her. But you know that's another story another day.
I try, and i have a much longer way to go but i hope and pray...no i have faith that through my change it'll all work out. Ive been saying and believe this, I'm not going through this just for me...This test is for someone else...Me
Well last she has paid my last few car payments and I'm grateful but I vested more money into the car than she has and ever will. She doesn't have to ability to see past today in that aspect. i know what it is, its a control thing. She wants a piece of everything. Bet she doesn't have a key to my brothers car but she's gonna DEMAND a key to mine!
That's another thing, all this demanding stuff. I need her to realize that I'm her child not A child. She doesn't know how to dialog with anyone. yelling and fussing is all she has grown to know. My step-dad, brother, the dogs...she uses the same tone with all of them alike. What infuriates her now is that i don't react to her in fear when she tries it with me. I tried to talk to her and explain that i cant and wont battle with her. Its wrong and unhealthy. Whats funny is i was considering just giving her the key till she placed that threat upon me. I don't do threats ever! so i hated to challenge her but if that's whats on her heart then i let her know she can do it, but i wasn't gonna break over a threat.
Then I question her motives, you cant keep up with ANYTHING (lose your head if it wasn't attached kind of thing) why? cause i want it, not good enough why? cause i want to move it, its already done why? cause your dad asked for it(which he had given me the weather excuse earlier), now you gonna blame my stepdad???
But you know that was her parenting style...If you don't wash the dishes I'm gonna, if you don't pass the class I'm gonna, you don't want me to. Now that we're older beating us doesn't work (though we get the occasional slap) so now she's moved on to the big leagues. wheres my car, ill tell them to repo it, ill remember that next time you, etc...
Its all a control thing. she feels that she lost control of her life (job,health,home) so she needs something that she can say is "MINE" and i do what i want with it! What she cant figure out is that we're not things and that this is not the way to regain control. I mean look at my world right not, it seems like its spinning out of control but its not. because i learned the hard way i might add that i don't have control over me, God does. Yes i can do whatever i feel within reason but to have favor, i had to relinquish the reigns and let him guide me. Wow look at me (Satan's lil helper, miss my daddy's name is Lucifer) sound like I'm preaching now...LOL! I guess this is what happens when god give you a test...you turn it into a testimony. Oh that was good i gotta get that on a shirt! HI-FIVE!
I'm now seeing a relationship between our interactions with each other and hers with grandma. with her illness as a crutch she is turning into her mother. Caring for grandma made her miserable and I've told her I'm not going that route with her. But you know that's another story another day.
I try, and i have a much longer way to go but i hope and pray...no i have faith that through my change it'll all work out. Ive been saying and believe this, I'm not going through this just for me...This test is for someone else...Me
